I can’t really remember how I stumbled across Adam’s website, but when I did it drew me in. In reading through his site, I felt like Adam already knew me. Being intuitive, I tend to read other people’s energy, and even though Adam and I have never met, I feel a strong positive energy from Adam.
I decided to reach out and get to know Adam a little better.
Adam, can you tell our readers what exactly do you do?
I help gay men use erotic energy to more easily navigate through choices of pleasure and suffering so they can create new realities for themselves filled with satisfaction and fulfillment.
This work comes through in many ways depending on where you are, where I am, and where we are both have the capacity to go.
Working in an erotic space can be highly charged and bring up a lot of challenges for folks. My work is meant to create and hold a grounded space for you that allows you to explore, extend, and expand.
To do that, I bring a lot of my skills as an intuitive to question what comes through to help you gain more clarity around your desires. This helps you to more fully understand where your desires are coming from — and that understanding is the true key to manifesting what you truly desire.
What does sacred intimacy look like to you?
To me, sacred intimacy is work that allows you to fully embody and embrace the pain and pleasure of your body, mind, and spirit. This work allows for touch, feelings, sexuality, and eroticism to be explored and negotiated. Instead of pushing away parts of our selves or the pain of our experiences, I invite all of you into this space so you can inquire and create everything you want in this life.
Would you say that you are an Intuitive/Psychic?
Everyone has intuitive and psychic abilities. The only difference is the degree to which you listen and trust your own body.
Honestly, almost all of my work is about this — about helping you go into your body to listen and trust… To understand what it feels like when your heart is speaking to you, or your head, or your gut, or your genitals. They all speak to us in different ways and carry unique wisdom.
The words “intuitive” and “psychic” carry so much weight in our culture. As if it is some ability to know something that doesn’t exist yet.
We are trained to be in our heads. We are trained to focus on the pain of the past and the expectations of the future. But neither exist and they only serve to create suffering.
The body is always present — it literally cannot be in the past or future. And it is in our bodies where we can find what many call “intuitive” and “psychic” abilities.
Who is your role model?
One of the most challenging pieces of my personal work has been to gain a deeper understanding of my self in relation to everyone around me — mentors, colleagues, clients, friends.
Byron Katie talks about how comparison keeps you from the awareness of what is, and that is an incredibly challenging lesson that I am constantly working through.
I used to have a lot of role models — but I found that it created a lot of suffering for me. To have a role model is to be within that paradigm of comparison. It suggests a positioning in a framework that doesn’t truly exist. It doesn’t exist because we all have everything we need inside of us.
Thinking that I wanted to be like them takes me out of my body and out of my present. But I am not like them, I am me, right now. And me, right now… that is the only place I can find fulfillment.
This paradigm also suggests that I want to be a role model for others, which is a very stressful thought. Don’t get me wrong, I want to share my work and my experience with as many people as possible, but to assume that I have attained something that others have not is simply not true.
To answer your question, my role model is me, right now.
And that is not always easy. But I have found that the only way I can experience and exist in joy and fulfillment is to be fully present in my body and not thinking about who I want to be in the future.
Do you believe in open relationships and do you believe they can work?
I recently had a date with someone who said they couldn’t be with me because they deserved monogamy. I asked them what that meant because I truly didn’t understand.
Do you want ownership of my heart? My skin? My vulnerability? My stories?
To me, none of that is possible and to attempt to control it is an exercise is suffering. We all have so much to give to one another and in my experience, when we try to contain it, it just gets messy.
There seems to be this idea (in the American culture that I grew up with) that only one person should be able to bring me sexual pleasure and that that sexual pleasure must be intricately linked with my heart’s love.
In my experience, the energies of the heart, head, gut, and genitals are limitless. To try to and limit them to one person is confusing. One person could never receive all that I have to give and to expect that only creates suffering for me and for them.
For me, it is important to start with this understanding and then create intentions around how I will express those energies with other people.
I have different capacities for clients than I do with friends and lovers — and I set those with intention and we have clear discussions about them.
I think it is helpful to gain more clarity around those intentions and how they shift and change. They change from relationship-to-relationship and even day-to-day. It is going to be different for everyone.
Love is far too complicated for our heads to comprehend. And not being able to understand it can make us feel insecure. So when we begin to put limits around how love can show up, in an effort to soothe our insecurities, we really limit our capacity to live and to be human.
For me, it is important to be in relationships where love is invited to expand as much as possible. It is important for me and my friends and lovers to recognize that love isn’t meant for just one person. In my experience, this intention creates space for respect and trust to show up even more strongly.
Do you have a spiritual practice?
My spiritual practice is an evolving experiment. I do have non-negotiable time every morning where I meditate, journal, draw cards, do some movement, and play with my dog. All of these practices have helped me in immense ways and I do at least one of them every day.
But if I had to articulate one practice that is the backbone of my journey — it would be that of a curious mind that is always asking.
When a new person comes into my life I am asking my heart, my head, my dick what it wants with this person. Every part of my body is going to light up in different ways and I am always curious about that.
And I find that this practice of curiosity and asking isn’t limited to just me. The energies of the plants, earth, animals — they can all be asked as well.
I have discovered that being intentional about asking has helped my mind be free. It allows me to stay open to growth instead of being stuck in the expectations of the future.
Plus, asking is just way more fun. It is never-ending. There is no end goal, no enlightenment, no heaven, no hell — just a constant curiosity that brings me into my body and into joy.
Also, Adam is leading a retreat from February 26 — March 1, 2020. The retreat is an erotic experiment for men in presence, creation, and pleasure. More information can be found on his website.