The Man Full of Love and Inspiration
Catching up with Spiritual Life Coach Jordan Bach
My husband has been following Jordan Bach for a few years. Jordan is a Spiritual Life Coach and is one of the most influential teachers on the Contemporary Spiritual scene. One week, in particular, I was having a rough time at work. (I work in one of the most toxic and unhealthy office environments you can imagine) My husband sent me Jordan Bach’s video, “What to Do When Someone Doesn’t Like You.” I started to cry in my office when I heard Jordan’s healing words of encouragement. I went on to watch more of his inspirational videos on YouTube. I was hooked. Jordan’s message got me through the really dark times and I am grateful. I reached out to Jordan and asked him for an interview and he graciously accepted.
I read in an interview you said you were a “Lonely Little Boy,” Can you expand on that? What was your childhood like?
I’ve always felt a lingering homesickness that I couldn’t explain — a strange feeling that I don’t belong here and that I should be somewhere else. It gave me a serious, melancholic demeanor as a kid and I spent a lot of time by myself. While other children were playing sports with their friends, I was reading and writing a lot, and walking in the woods behind my childhood home, communicating with nature and performing little magical rituals. I was an odd duck!
My melancholy turned out to be a blessing; feeling sad or lonely draws you inwards and, if you’re a serious thinker who wants to discover the truth, you can tap into some real spiritual treasure as you explore your own inner world. In our culture, sadness is seen as something to be fixed. I see it as something to be explored. I’m not afraid of sadness, or darkness, or unanswered mysteries.
You came out at 12, how was that experience for you? How did your family handle that?
Looking back, I can see that I had same-sex attractions at around 3 or 4 years old, around the age at which Sigmund Freud theorized that children have what he called “stirrings,” or sexual impulses that can’t yet travel through developed sexual circuitry.
I remember looking at a guy who was gardening at my house and thinking, “I want him, but I don’t understand how I want him.”
As you grow older, your body begins to mature, sexual circuitry connects and develops, and those natural yet confusing emotions gain an outlet for expression. This is true of all human beings, no matter where you are on the spectrum.
My parents are cosmopolitan, progressive, intelligent people whose best friends are gay, but they never sat me down to tell me that being gay was okay. It was just a given. My family didn’t care if I was gay. They cared if I was smart and had something to say that would add to the conversation.
I “came out” when I was 12. I was sitting on the kitchen counter and my chic, funny mother was smoking a cigarette across the room. As if she was Bette Davis in “All About Eve,” she looked at me, took a puff and blew it in the air. “Do you think you’re gay?” she asked. I nodded yes. “Well good, then. I thought so. Now, let’s go to the store. I’ve run out of cigarettes.” Then she and I hopped into her car, popped a Tina Turner CD into the dash, and drove off.
In terms of being gay, I’m blessed to have been born at that certain time, in that certain place, under those certain circumstances; I believe it’s part of my calling and my life’s work to have had that experience, which is denied to so many other queer children. I didn’t have to fight my family for acceptance and so I was free to pursue other interests, like psychology, spirituality, and language.
What makes you strong isn’t the belief that people accept you. What makes you strong is the belief that you are here for a reason, and your own unique blend of personality, gifts, and strengths has the power to change the world.
How did you start the journey down your spiritual path and how has that journey impacted your life?
I’ve always been a spiritual person, even though my parents are atheists. I have felt the compassionate hovering presence of a higher power my entire life, I just didn’t know how to explain it in words. I didn’t have any religion to help me figure it out. I figured it out on my own by reading, reading, reading and matching up what I was learning about metaphysics with my own life experience. I’m always asking, “What is this situation here to teach me?”
I’ve discovered what I consider to be some basic truths. Here are just a few:
1) You are here for a reason. Everybody has some important work to do in this lifetime.
2) You are never alone. The same force that holds the stars in the sky is guiding you, too.
3) The world is a screen on which we’re constantly projecting ourselves. If you’re loving and deeply understanding, you will see other people’s behavior as either an expression of love or a call for love. If you’re fearful and closed-minded, you will see in others the worst of human characteristics and you will be frightened by it.
4) Your purpose is to be the light. You will feel at peace when you are loving other people because it is what you were sent here to do.
You made it known that you been influenced by Gabrielle Bernstein. Can you tell us about that friendship?
I consider her a sister. Gabby Bernstein is, for those who aren’t familiar, a rockstar in the world of modern spirituality. She’s written several bestselling books and sold out venues with thousands of people wanting to hear her speak over the years. Gabby knows what she’s doing and she’s saved many lives.
What I’ve learned from spending time with spiritual teachers and famous people is this: everybody is just a human being trying to find their way home. We suffer, we cry, we laugh at jokes we ought not laugh at, we have our own neuroses and insecurities, we judge, we forgive, and we love. I don’t take myself as seriously as I did when I first started gaining a following on the internet. Don’t get me wrong — I still take the responsibility of having an audience very seriously, but I’m more comfortable with my flaws today because I have seen that every single person has them, even people who we put on a pedestal. Being comfortable with who you are allows other people to be comfortable with who they are. Your powerful, radiant presence reminds other people of their own.
What is the single greatest lesson you have learned that has impacted your life that you now share with other?
Each of us is here for a particular purpose. No matter what you do for a living, your job description is love. By treating other people with dignity and love, dignity and love are conferred onto you.
What is on the horizon for Jordan?
My literary agent is probably going to call me in an hour to see how much progress I’ve made on my first book. My writing process is painfully slow, but I see this book as already written; I just have to fill in the pages. I know exactly the effect it will have on people. People are going to read it in bed and fall asleep holding it because it feels like a missing piece of their heart. Once that’s published, I’ll do some television. But my real joy is just to live life and see where it takes me. When people see me or hear me, it’s when I’m in front of a camera or keyboard digesting everything I’m learning from actually living my life.
Jordan, it has been a pleasure. If you want to keep up with Jordan regarding his book or videos, his website is https://thebachbook.com/ also you can find his inspirational videos on YouTube and inspirational messages on Instagram @jordanbach.
